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  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Casey plodded out to the kitchen taking time only to slide her feet into her huge and puffy dog shaped slippers. If there was some sort of unconscious desire driving her to spend her evenings in puppy and dog slippers she’d given in to it. She'd heard Mary quietly head in the same direction less than fifteen minutes before. It had taken her that long to work up the courage to follow. She needed to talk to her about the plans that were slowly coming together both in her head and on paper. This was as good a time as any. When she sat down she was only slightly surprised when a still steaming cup of hot chocolate piled high with miniature marshmallows already partially melting down along the sides was pushed across the table in front of her. "You expected me." Even she wasn't certain whether she was asking or stating a fact.

  Mary studied her across the table. "You've been edgy. I can't count the number of times you've opened your mouth to say something to me then stopped." She watched her cousin look down, study her hot chocolate as if it held the answers of the universe. "I got up because I figured after almost an hour listening to you tossing and turning, odds were you'd get up too and maybe we could have the discussion you keep putting off." She laughed softly. "You remind me of my kids."

  Casey sighed, "I wouldn't know about that never having had any."

  And that Mary realized was another issue altogether. "It's not like you're too old to."

  "I'm way too old." God knew she felt her years and then some most days. "I don't see you rushing to have another one."

  "I would in a minute if I could talk my husband into it." And that would happen maybe halfway into the next millennium, Mary thought dryly. And this most definitely wasn't a topic they would resolve tonight. So instead she pushed her cousin on the one they were sitting out here working up to. "What's been on your mind, Casey?"

  "You're going to think I'm crazy." She ran her hand through her hair. "My brothers are going to think I'm institutional." She folded her hands around the still hot cup, ignoring the sticky mess sliding down one side, needing something to hold on to.

  "You're talking to someone who went a little crazy when she got a sticky note from the milkman inviting us to join his milk route." Mary laughed softly thinking back to that memory making moment of the day before.

  "Really!" Casey's worries took a side step. "They still have milkmen here?"

  "You bet. And starting next Monday we're on the route. I called and set it up." Mary sat back with her own cup and smiled. "It was such a moment, Casey." She ducked her head slightly, almost embarrassed at the memory of her little 'happy dance' on her front porch when she found the note on the door. "It's silly, but it brought back such wonderful memories, sitting on the milk box waiting for him, talking my mother into getting chocolate milk or ice cream." She took a moment, smiled over her cup. "For me it was one of those wonderful happy moments I wouldn't trade for anything but I'll admit that anyone who might have seen me in those couple of moments would have justifiably thought I was nuts," she shrugged as she spoke. "And that would be their right."

  Casey thought about the message she knew her cousin was trying to make. It was always a matter of perception. How often had her father told her that as well. Her mother hadn't said a word...she'd led by example.

  "Casey," Mary spoke softly. "Come on, Casey. Look at me." She waited for the grown woman across from her, who in so many ways found herself in the same place she had, to look up from the drink she had yet to taste. "Do you remember the family reaction in the very beginning when I began writing and was first published? Beyond their thoughts that at least I had something to keep my mind busy while I was trying to take care of Dane and not go crazy worrying about him?" She let that sink in for a moment then continued. "Do you remember the pithy little comments made by my brothers, even my wonderful husband who often doesn't have a clue beyond what he can find on his computer screen?" She nodded her head in assent as she saw from Casey's expression she was indeed remembering. "And do you remember what you said to me? You were visiting, in between some story and the next, one country and the next..." She reached across the table to grip her own hands around those that still held tight to the mug. "You told me that anything that was important to me, it didn't matter if the rest of them didn't get it. That it didn't mean I was crazy as they thought, it meant they were. You had a few other terms about their state of mind we won't go into again." She smiled as she added that then sat back...waited for Casey to think back to that specific memory and the many others she could give if necessary. And hopefully plan forward with something other than fear. When she only continued to stare into her still untouched hot chocolate Mary sighed. Just like a child she thought ironically. "So, when are you going to let me in on your plans to open a store? I'd be willing to bet you've got plans for a really jazzy one that will light up the internet." She watched the awe spread across her cousin's face and just snickered.

  "How do you do that?"

  "Have a couple of kids, it'll come to you," Mary said simply. And decided that topic was definitely a conversation they would have at some later time.

  Casey felt a sense of relief almost immediately. She shouldn't be surprised that Mary already had an idea of what she was considering and wasn't laughing or making a joke about it. She took a deep breath and launched into what she’d been thinking and getting closer and closer at wanting to take a shot at. "There's a bunch of ways to sell online. But I think I'd like to try a stand-alone store, at least at first.

  Mary leaned back, enjoying the flash of anticipation that had lit up Casey's face. "It's obvious you've given it a lot of thought so why the hesitancy? Is it just me or anyone?"

  Casey steepled her fingers together in front of her, tapped them together as she thought about Mary's question. "I guess both but to different degrees." She shrugged, truth wasn't always pretty but was always better than the alternative. "I've been nervous about bringing it up with you because you, your opinion, matters and matters a lot. Everyone else..." she hated sounding petty and knew she was about to. "People will talk, some will see it as a lark, some as a big step down, and some will just think I've gone around the bend." She shrugged, wished she could shrug it off as easily as she sounded but knew no matter what you thought, whatever her insecurities might be, you couldn't stop people from talking.

  Mary was quiet for a moment. She knew exactly what she wanted to say, but knew too that those words wouldn't help. Instead she looked for the words that would.

  "Considering some of what you told me, some of what you were dealing with at work, I would think that you're the last person in line who needs to be worried about having gone around the bend. Remember the old saying about he or she who casts the first stone." She watched her cousin's expression, was pleased she didn't simply wave it away. "And as far as it being seen as a step down, that's just silly." Mary took a deep soothing breath to settle the small burst of irritation that slipped through her carefully maintained aura of calm. "If you must see it as a step, think of it as a step across a bridge you've never crossed before. I wonder how many of those who would be talking would have the nerves to do the same." Pleased that those cautious eyes now studied hers with pensive thoughts instead of harried fears Mary plowed on. "And quite honestly, I see nothing wrong in going off on a lark." She looked around the small kitchen where almost everything was exactly as she wanted, as she had pictured in her head from that first day and with that thought gestured with both hands and a nod of her head. "What would you call what I've done here if not a lark?" She smiled. "And a wonderful lark it has been so why shouldn't you have your own?"

  Mary gave Casey a minute to think about all she'd said then brought it right back around to the real topic at hand.

  "So, have you thought about how you want to set things up? I'm guessing that at least in the beginning, there'll be a wealth of inventory for it just from what we decide we don't want to keep from all we've been and will be digging through," as she spoke she gestured i
nto the other rooms off the kitchen that were still crammed with the contents from the crates and trunks brought down from the attic. She paused and added, "You know what they say, one person's junk is another person's treasure."

  "That's just it though," Casey had a lot to think about and her cousin had given her more. But this was another part of what held her back. "This stuff is all yours, it's your house."

  "That's just silly." Mary scoffed. "This belonged to both our grandparents and our great-grandparents before that." She leaned back and added thoughtfully. "Maybe even further back than that from the looks of some of it and considering that one piece dates back to the 1500’s"

  "If you go based on that it belongs to all our brothers as well. Do you really want to go down that road just to be fair or is it just about me?" Casey knew she was on the verge of sounding fastidious but she really needed to know.

  Mary sat back. Casey had obviously thought about this quite a bit and she knew from long experience once she had her mind set a certain way it was difficult if not impossible to shift it. She decided to try a different tact.

  "I don't agree with you but I see your point. And no, I really don't want to include mine or your brothers in this primarily because they wouldn't give a flip about it and secondly because they all, each and every single one of them with the exception of Jake, thought I was nuts for buying this place and made sure I knew it." She leaned over to grab the cookie jar from the counter behind her and set it on the table between them. "It's obvious you've given this a lot of thought. What's your solution?" She interrupted even as Casey opened her mouth to speak. "And before you say anything I will say unequivocally that I'm not going to take money from you for this stuff." She shook her head as she plowed on. "That’s a non-negotiable point."

  "I thought about that at first but had a feeling you wouldn't be keen on it." She shook her head at the set expression on Mary's face. "I'm not broke, Mary." She felt the need to explain this much, she didn't want her cousin feeling unnecessarily sorry for her. "I've got plenty socked away and thanks to Peter my investment portfolio is sickeningly healthy. It's almost embarrassing to admit."

  Feeling the same way about her own healthy portfolio thanks to Casey's brother, Mary pulled out another cookie and held it up in the air as if in toasting with champagne. "Cheers to being embarrassingly fortunate for a wonderfully astute financial whiz as our Peter."

  Casey laughed and felt a thousand times better than she had even fifteen minutes before. Mary was always able to bring out the best in her and had ever since they'd been kids. The surge of emotion came so quickly and out of the blue she almost choked on her cookie. "Okay," she began working past the shakes in her voice, "you don't want me to buy this stuff from you." She searched for the best way to ask for what meant most. "I think, and I want to you think about it before you say anything," she watched her cousin's eyes go thoughtful. "I think we should be partners."

  "Okay." Anticipating this too, Mary's answer was immediate.

  Casey was surprised. "That was too easy."

  "I think it's a great idea." Mary smiled. "I don't know how much help I'll be, but I'd love to be part of it." She smiled at the expression of cautious anticipation on Casey's face. Understood it better than her cousin could ever possibly realize. "I think I'd like to be more of a silent partner than much of an active one. I think it would be great to bounce ideas off each other but this needs to be your baby."

  Casey studied the woman across from her for a few minutes before she said anything. "I know what you're doing," she finally said.

  "I'm agreeing to be your partner in what I think will be a wonderfully challenging adventure for you. For both of us," she corrected. "Just in different ways."

  "Maybe," Casey allowed. "But I think it's more you're agreeing to be what you think I need so I'll feel good about this without feeling guilty about it." And if that made sense to her she's two steps ahead of me, Casey thought wryly.

  Mary just laughed, and not for the first time on this day and long, late night, she desperately missed her kids and the sometimes crazy conversations she so often had with them. "Casey, I'm agreeing to it because it makes sense. You've found something that just the thought of makes you happy. Planning it, implementing it, making it successful, all that is going to make you happy. My part in it will be whatever you need it to be to reach that, and in the process, I'll be happy to help you and will be able to continue doing what I'm doing."

  "And what is that?" Casey asked, interested in the answer to that almost as much as she was in her own crazy dream.

  "Looking for what you've already found."

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  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Even as she rushed into the front room pulling her robe around her as she did, amazed anyone would be up and banging on her door this early, Mary also wondered who could possibly know she was here. Her immediate realization of who was at the door came too late to close it in his face.

  "Hi. I'm looking for Casey Kyle." The man, well known to much of America for years because of his place in front of the television camera, smiled a winning smile that Mary knew had to have cost a fortune. His obvious double take didn't completely surprise her though for a moment she'd been hopeful considering she was in her robe with her hair fresh from her pillow which was never her best look.

  "Aren't you Mary Lane?" Mark Danner looked around, his expression a humorous mix of uncertainty and excitement. He might not have found who he was looking for but did find what few had.

  Mary sighed and even as she entertained the brief hope of sending him along as she had many before him, Casey bounced into the room looking better than she had in days...until she saw who was standing at the door.

  "Mark?"

  If Mary had thought his obvious mixed emotions as he looked from one woman to the other was amusing she didn't let it show. She knew Casey better than that. And while Mary wanted to quietly move him along, Casey simply wanted him gone and wasn't concerned about how. She kept on walking to the door, stepped in front of Mary and intently began closing the door on the man standing square in the way.

  "Wait a minute," he forced his foot in before the latch could catch.

  "No." Casey was adamant. "No. No. No." She pushed on the door. She was done with that part of her life and wasn't going to allow anyone to try tempting her back in.

  "Casey, I have to talk with you."

  "What part of 'No’ did you not pick up on." Casey glared at him. She had considered him her friend for almost twenty years. Over the past two weeks she had come to several painful realizations that distance had provided her the time and clarity to see. Many of those realizations had to do with friendships including his and what turned out to be their vastly differing concepts of what such relationships entailed.

  "I figured that out when you mailed your phone back." Exasperated, he tried vigilantly to hold on to his temper. He was exhausted from hours of travel including the little four-seater plane that brought him to what he just barely considered the back of beyond. "Casey, you just walked out without a word to anyone." He pushed gently on the door. His wife would kill him if she found out he'd done anything but talk 'nicely' to Casey on her own terms. She'd been dead set against this trip from the moment he’d announced he was making it. "Contrary to what you might think, I've covered for you the best I can. You can still come back." He needed her to come back. She needed her to come back, he thought wryly. She just didn't realize that yet.

  "I. Am. Not. Coming. Back." She enunciated clearly. "Ever." She added as an afterthought just to make sure there was no confusion.

  "Casey." He hated to sound imploring, drew the line at anything remotely close to whining, but knew that was where he was steadily heading.

  "Casey, let the man in the door." This time it was Mary adding her voice to the situation for the first time since Casey had bounded into the room. "He looks tired," and edging on desperate she realized but kept that thought to herself. It would be interesting though, she deci
ded, to find out why. "I think some coffee and cake and perhaps the good manners you've seemed to have misplaced somewhere won't be seen as changing your mind."

  The quiet rebuke hit its target. With a jerk that Mark couldn't take for anything other than forced compliance she yanked the door open allowing him entrance.

  "What is with you?" Mark muttered under his breath as he walked past her into the front room. "I'm your friend not some dreaded enemy."

  She stared at him, not giving an inch. "It's amazing what peace and quiet can do for a person." She looked him right in the eyes. "It also allows for a lot of time to think without interruption." She saw his eyes slant slightly, knew from knowing him as well and as long as she had that he was thinking back too. "It allows a person the time to see things from a different perspective. People too."

  "Casey," he began only to be quickly and curtly interrupted.

  "No. No more excuses. You maneuvered me more times than I care to count. But I take the blame, I allowed it to happen. You benefited and so did I. But no more." She stopped, thinking it through. Realizing it, accepting it, had been hard enough. Saying it out loud was ten times worse. She looked at the man she had worked with, worked for, the man who had married one of her best friends. His quiet and subtle duplicity had hurt almost more than anything anyone else could have done to her. "You did it under the guise of friendship, Mark. You used me to further your agenda at the network. But that I can forgive. That's the creed of the business isn't it, how we...you," she corrected herself, "do business. But you didn't have to do the same to our friendship."

  "Casey," he tried again only to be cut off just as quickly.

  "No. No justifications. And please don't try to validate it. That would only make it all the worse." She looked at him closely. "I'm not going to go into this with you here. I'm done with it. I've made that abundantly clear. You accept it, you don't, doesn't matter one way or the other to me. I am through. You can come in and have cake and coffee with us but I don't want anything of this business brought up. I don't want my cousin involved."